


Encono

by BigBadBat



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, Canon Related, Childhood Trauma, During Canon, F/M, Flashbacks, Halloween, JLF2018, Jerza Love Fest, Jerza Love Fest 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-13 21:50:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16480391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigBadBat/pseuds/BigBadBat
Summary: Encono(nombre masculino)Animadversión o rencor hacia una persona, especialmente en la forma de enfrentarse a alguien.





	Encono

**Author's Note:**

> I love that word and I really wish you could translate it to english but it kinda loses it's meaning when I do so that's why the title is in spanish. It is a mixture of sadness, anger, yearn and melancholy. It is an awful feeling yet so thrilling to write!

"Meredy, you are more than well aware as to why you can't go trick or treating." Ultear reached out and grabbed the eccentric hat with spider webs hanging from it and decided to put it back where it belonged before the marketplace's vendor recognized either of them. "C'mon, I promise to get you a bunch of candies," she promised, dragging the younger mage away from the market and back to their hideout outside the city.

The walk was a bit quiet, Ultear knew how much Meredy liked dressing up for the festivity and she had never had quite the chance to actually dress up and enjoy the holiday like most children, but there was nothing she could do, she would never risk Meredy being identified and taken away from her. She was pouting and lost in her thought when both mages reached the fireplace. 

The fire was out and a basket full of fruit and bread stood next to the logs.

"For crying out loud," Meredy sighed while throwing her hands in the air. "One would think he would at least try to keep up his facade instead of running away."

For seven years, that had been his M.O. He didn't care; or cared enough to not let the worry and anguish betray him, to act as nonchalant as possible and do his very best to keep cold eyes instead of glassy and teary eyes filled with uncertainty. But lately, he was absent most of the time.

A year or so ago, he had begun to wander away without saying a word. At first, it was just a few minutes he pretended to walk behind his guildmates and then he would catch up looking a tad shaken up. Then those minutes doubled and tripled until he was missing for hours and lately, the past few days. He was not _entirely_ disappearing, he would be somewhere close making sure the girls were safe and listening out for their next act move, delivering when he was asked to do something yet not showing his face. And it had had such an insignificant trigger.

_"Erza."_

_Meredy was still sleeping, Ultear always woke him up first, doing her best to give her the chance to sleep off anything that could be pestering her. The name slipped from his lips as Ultear shook his shoulder to bring him back from the dream realm._

_Then he jolted to a sitting position, eyes wide open and heartbeat gone wild._

_Unsure of what to do, Ultear had stepped back, given him space to realize where was he. She had been careful when she called out his name, not wanting to worsen the situation, and when he met her eyes he looked oh so troubled, so scared, wounded. Lonely._

_Later that day, he had split from their small group under a sloppy excuse and Meredy told her._

_"I can sense it. He is nostalgic, there is bitterness clouding his judgment; he is afraid of never seeing her again. Guilt is eating him alive."_

* * *

 "Simon! Do you know what day it is?" the redhead asked as she held something in her fists, giggling.

And even if they were trapped in hell and life sucked, her smile was so bright for a moment he forgot all the misery and pain he constantly carried in his heart. He had seen her the day before, her hair made her impossible to ignore.

"Erza?! Shush! And get back to work or the guards will punish you!"

 "I know, but look what I found!" she said, revealing colorful shapes in her hands, handing two of the five objects to her friend.

"Where did you get candy?!"

"Shut it and eat them before we get caught."

And just before she turned away, she looked at Jellal in the eye and handed him a candy.

"Happy Halloween", he whispered before she ran away.

The next day, her name was Erza Scarlet and without knowing what love was, he had fallen.

* * *

 A mission had brought them to the outside of Magnolia, where they had taken care of a small dark guild abusing a family of farmers. Neither of the females dared to suggest they stayed in the outskirts of the city or that they got supplies at the local market. He didn't exactly suggest it, his voice came out hoarse and tired, the last order of the day.

"I will set up the camp, you two go get supplies for our next trip," was all he said before he disappeared into the woods, his figure growing smaller as he ran away.

He ran away from the pumpkin decorations he had seen at the farm, the scarecrow on the door of the house and the orange lights coming from the city. He ran away from the kids in costumes and bowls full of candy for children.

_"One day, we should celebrate together!"_

He couldn't stand going to the market with the girls and seeing all the couples costumes.

Because he missed her when he had no right to feel anything at all, not for her.

Because his skin ached for her touch, a gentle caress he would never deserve. He longed for that soft look in her eyes, something he was starting to forget and yet he was selfish enough to wish she appeared in front of him to reassure him that he was not forgetting and his memory played him no games. The bright scarlet hair he wished to play with he could never forget, not even when he had found himself lost in the darkness could that hair find a way out of his head and now it was bitting him back, holding him back to the past; his punishment for his sins, not able to forget her. Not being sure if he wanted to forget her if he was true to himself. She was the reason he could still see light even when he closed his eyes. But she was worth a thousand lives and he could never live up to her worth. He had hurt her. He made her cry. And he hated himself because of that. He knew he would never atone for that and still, that night he went to sleep asking God not to forgive him for his sins, that night he pleaded for a second chance.

In a second life, one in which he could try and deserve her kindness and warmth.

Or something simpler. 

_Let her come back safe and sound._

She was not dead, that was for sure.

_Let her be happy._

Next day he heard the whispers as they parted Magnolia.

**"They finally found them."**

 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments fuel my soul. [Just like sending me memes, prompts or just a hello!](http://www.gayestbat.tumblr.com/ask)


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